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I thought I was just falling apart. I was not.
- Tamara Beckford
- Apr 9
- 4 min read
In 2021, I was thriving.
Working clinically. Speaking on large stages. Raising two young toddlers. Doing all of it. Feeling like I had it together.
And then, somewhere between 2021 and 2024, I started to unravel.
Not dramatically. Not all at once. Slowly. Quietly.
No matter what I did, rest would not come. Decisions that used to feel easy started to feel impossible. Anxiety showed up without an invitation and without a reason. I became someone I did not recognize. Short. Reactive. Foggy.
I kept thinking: what is wrong with me?
Nothing was wrong with me.
My hormones were shifting. And nobody had told me what that was going to look like.
That story is not mine alone. I hear it every single week from women who are accomplished, self-aware, and completely blindsided by what perimenopause actually feels like in the body.
Because here is the thing no one tells you.
It does not always look like hot flashes.
The signs that get missed. And the women who are told they are fine.
Perimenopause can begin as early as your late 30s. And the symptoms are so varied that many women and even their doctors do not recognize them for what they are.
So let us talk about the ones that do not make the highlight reel.
Anxiety that comes out of nowhere.
Not stress. Not a hard season. Just a low hum of dread or a racing heart that was not there before. As many as four in ten women experience irritability, low energy, sadness or difficulty concentrating during perimenopause. Hormonal shifts affect the brain directly.
And for many women, anxiety is the very first sign that something is changing.
If you have been to therapy, adjusted your diet, cleaned up your sleep, and the anxiety is still there? It might not be a mindset issue. It might be your hormones.
Heart palpitations.
That fluttery, skipping, pounding feeling in your chest. Many women end up in a cardiologist's office before anyone thinks to mention perimenopause. Fluctuating estrogen affects the cardiovascular system. Palpitations are real. They are recognized.
And they are almost never connected to hormones in a 7-minute appointment.
You are not anxious. You are not having a panic attack. You may be perimenopausal.
Sleep that stops working for no clear reason.
You are doing everything right and still waking at 2am, wide awake and wired. Difficulty falling asleep, frequent nighttime awakenings, and early morning waking are all recognized symptoms of the menopause transition. This is not a discipline problem. This is not a supplement problem. This is hormonal.
Brain fog so thick it makes you question yourself.
Forgetting words mid-sentence. Losing your train of thought. Feeling like you are operating at half capacity. For high-achieving women, this one is particularly destabilizing. And it is real.
Periods that start behaving differently.
If you have had a very regular menstrual cycle for years and suddenly your period is off by several days, that is an indication of perimenopause. Most women chalk this up to stress. It is worth paying attention to.
Here is what I want you to hear.
You are not falling apart. You are not too sensitive. You are not dramatic. Your body is moving through a transition that the medical system is wildly underprepared to address.
And you deserve someone who takes it seriously.
What's in the News
UCLA Health recently published a piece on the sneaky symptoms of perimenopause and it is worth your time. The piece makes a point I repeat constantly. The symptoms are so varied that many women and even their doctors do not recognize them as signs of perimenopause. The article also makes the case for tracking your symptoms and advocating loudly with your provider. Knowledge is the first step. Using it is the second.
Menopause Stories Podcast
The newest episode of the Menopause Stories Podcast is out now. And if this email resonated with you, this episode is going to hit even harder.
We are talking about the symptoms nobody warned you about. The anxiety that showed up uninvited. The heart that started racing for no reason. The sleep that stopped working.
The version of yourself that felt just slightly out of reach.
Download it. Listen on your walk, your drive, your lunch break. Wherever you go when you need a minute for yourself.
And then I want to hear from you.
Really hear from you.
What resonated? What finally gave language to something you have been carrying? Did something in the episode make you feel less alone in what you have been going through?
Comment and tell me. I read every single response. Every one.
And if you know a woman who has been brushing off her symptoms, blaming stress, telling herself she just needs to push through? Send her this episode. Forward this. Share the link.
She needs to hear this. And you might be the reason she finally does.
Share the episode
Two ways to work with me right now.
You do not have to keep guessing. You do not have to keep being told you are fine when you know that you are not.
Here is how we can work together.
Book a complimentary 45-minute consult call.
If you are struggling with sleep, mood changes, hormonal weight gain, or brain fog and you live in Texas, Iowa, Illinois, Georgia, or Michigan, this call is for you. We will talk about what is happening in your body, what it might mean, and what your next steps look like.
No pressure. Just clarity.
Have your hormone labs reviewed by a physician.
Already have labs? Want a physician to actually look at them and help you develop the language to advocate for yourself with your current provider?
This is for you if you are tired of leaving appointments feeling dismissed or confused about your own results. You deserve to understand what your body is telling you.
You did not come this far to just push your way through to the other side.
You came here to feel like yourself again.
I am here for that.
Talk soon,
Dr. Tamara Beckford
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